A year??? No Way!

Way.... I can't believe a year has gone by since I last posted.... Feels overwhelming to try to decide how to start. It's like starting over again. Yet, I could pretty much just copy and paste the previous year's comments and the tone would be the same.... sadness.... little pockets of happiness and strength that manage to hold me in stagnation ... replaced by large pockets of doubt, worthlessness, self-pity.... Sad waste of what we refer to as... life.

But I think I have actually grown as a person and I have made strides in my life. I'm not proud of the rate of speed with which I have moved towards goals, towards change ... but coming from a place of self-doubt, I amaze myself that I have accomplished anything at all. So hey! That's a positive!

I had a hotdog at Lowe's today... that is one of those oddly sweet moments that tie me up and hold me hostage... just like breakfast at the Dirty Diner...

We are becoming friends again. I think that although a slow, slightly BORING path, it is one that in the long run is necessary, and should prove meaningful...

Tonight has been particularly difficult. I'm feeling quite low, and even more shameful about myself and my strength - or complete lack thereof. How did I become this?